Did you know that 80% of people who set resolutions on Jan. 1 have dropped them by Feb. 1? That’s one reason why now is the time for a plethora of ads hyping the gym, organizing supplies and health supplements. Of course, you’ll also see ads hyping the next-best thing to helping you achieve those resolutions you make this week, from apps to journals to online classes and more — this is their peak selling time for the entire year.
But what if this year could be different? Here are some perhaps unorthodox ways to look at resolution-setting.
Reframe
First, if setting resolutions equals failure in your mind, you can reframe the process by calling it something else. You can “pursue personal growth,” “develop a strategic plan” for your life, aim or strive for a result, “plan for the future,” engage in “visioning” or list “dreams to pursue.”
Reframing can also help you take a closer look at where you actually want to go. Is my goal actually to lose 25 pounds? Or is it to be healthier so I can take my grandkids on adventures? It also helps to reframe the goal from the gigantic and abstract (write the next Great American novel) to smaller, more concrete actions (write 500 words a day). And, don’t be afraid to not do something well.
Don’t do it well
I’m sure you’ve heard it. “Whatever is worth doing at all, is worth doing well.” Philip Stanhope, 4th Earl of Chesterfield, wrote those words in a letter to his son back in 1774. Fallen Navy Seal Shane Patton is quoted as saying, “Anything worth doing is worth overdoing. Moderation is for cowards.” Even Yoda weighed in: “Do or do not. There is not try.”
Except it’s not true. At least, not all the time.
I’m not saying you shouldn’t pursue excellence. I am saying not everything is equally weighted. Giving yourself permission to not do everything well can be very freeing. It can help free us from imposter syndrome and from perfectionism. It can allow us to be ok with being beginners and trying something new, knowing there will be a learning curve, and that’s ok.
In our home, we like to cook and have a large repertoire of things we can successfully make from scratch. We can make homemade pasta with sauce from scratch, homemade bread and salad made of ingredients grown in our garden. But we also do spaghetti with store-bought sauce, a bag of salad and a loaf of store bread. Both are wins.
Small wins
Most real change comes from small, incremental actions that build over time. It’s so easy to overestimate how much we can achieve in a week or a month, but under-estimate what we can achieve in a year — or a decade. If you spend 15 minutes a day pursuing a goal, at the end of the year, you will have spent 91 hours on it. At the end of a decade, over 900 hours.
Mehrnaz Bassiri said in a 2018 TEDx talk, “Small wins have a transformational power. Once a small win has been accomplished, forces are set in motion to favor another small win and another small win until the combination of these small wins leads to larger and greater accomplishments.”
According to research by Teresa Amabile from Harvard Business School, people who tracked their small achievements every day enhanced their motivation to keep working toward the big goals. Remember the old adage, “Inch by inch, it’s a cinch”? Maybe that is just the mindset we need to keep working on the next goal/vision/dream of ours.
Just one thing
Instead of a list of 10 or 20 (or more!) things you want to do in 2025, what if this year, you focused on just one thing? Is there one relationship you want to focus on? One future-preparedness priority that has your attention? One skill you want to learn? I remember reading a story once about a man who set just one goal a year. One year, he focused on becoming conversational in another language. Another year, he focused on learning to play one difficult piece on the piano.
James Clear, a behavioral psychologist who wrote “Atomic Habits,” said “the way to master more things in the long-run is to simply focus on one thing right now.”
One way to do that is to pick a “word of the year” and let that word (or phrase) be your guiding star for your actions throughout the year. Some years back, I chose the word “grace” as my very first word of the year. It reverberated in my head and kept me focused on at least trying to take the high road when false accusations were spread about me and when I lost a political race that year. One year, my word was “joy.” Another year, it was “take imperfct action,” (deliberately misspelled) to remind me that “perfect is the enemy of good.” In 2024, my word was “remember,” a word that has shown up in my actions in numerous ways. I don’t have one yet for 2025, but I will choose one shortly.
Flexibility is key
As we enter a new year, consider viewing resolutions as a journey rather than a final destination. This mindset allows us to move past the notion that missing a day means we’ve failed. Meaningful change is often fueled by consistent progress, not a perfect “one and done.” Embracing flexibility and adaptability can be crucial to our success. Remember how, five years ago, the unexpected global shutdown forced us to rethink and adapt our goals?
The experts over at “Wellbeing People” write that “flexible goal setting is about adjustment.” It’s not about changing your mind or giving in, but it’s about “finding our own strategies to cope and succeed when circumstances in our lives change,” which they inevitably do.
This year — as with every time we set a new goal — we open a doorway to discovering more about ourselves and the world around us.
So, what will your journey look like in the coming year? I hope it’s a good one.
