In her new — and final — Netflix stand-up special, Ellen DeGeneres admitted it was “devastating” to be branded mean, but she no longer cares what people think of her.
The former talk show host, 66, addressed allegations of creating a toxic workplace on The Ellen DeGeneres Show, which aired from 2003 to 2022, saying she is “happy not being a boss or a brand or a billboard” anymore.
“I’m proud of who I’ve become,” DeGeneres said in Ellen DeGeneres: For Your Approval, which premiered Tuesday, September 24, on Netflix.
“[I’m] just a multifaceted person with different feelings and emotions, and I can be happy and sad and compassionate or frustrated,” DeGeneres explained. “I have OCD and ADD. I’m honest. I’m generous. I’m sensitive and thoughtful. But I’m tough and I’m impatient and I’m demanding. I’m direct. I’m a strong woman.”
DeGeneres said that she spent her entire Hollywood career caring about what people think, but with the controversy that engulfed her talk show in 2020, she has gained perspective into what truly matters.
“So, after a lifetime of caring, I just can’t anymore. So I don’t,” the comedian declared.
“I’m sure you’ve heard the saying, ‘What other people think of me is none of my business.’ People will say and think all kinds of things and you have no control over that. But you know the truth and that’s all that matters,” DeGeneres said. “But that is easier said than done. Because being in this business, I’ve had to care what people think. Because being a comedian or a host, it’s our only real currency for success. If they like you, you’re in, and if they don’t, you’re out. And I’ve spent an entire lifetime trying to make people happy, and I’ve cared far too much what other people think of me.”
DeGeneres continued, “So the thought of anyone thinking that I’m mean was devastating to me and it consumed me for a long time. But with time, you gain perspective, which is one good thing about aging. With perspective, you realize that caring what people think, to a degree, is healthy. But not if it affects your mental health.”
DeGeneres, who used to sign off her talk show with the line, “Be kind to one another,” said that she would, however, like to be remembered in a positive light as she walks away from her career.
“If I’m being honest and I have a choice of people remembering me as someone who is mean or someone who is beloved, I choose that,” she said.
DeGeneres’ stand-up special was filmed at the Orpheum Theatre in Minneapolis, Minnesota, in August, during her Ellen’s Last Stand … Up Tour, which began in April.
During the tour, DeGeneres talked about being “kicked out of show business” after she was accused of producing a “toxic work environment” on her talk show in 2020. WarnerMedia launched an investigation that July into the allegations and DeGeneres sent a letter of apology to her staff.
The Ellen DeGeneres Show concluded in May 2022 after 19 seasons, and during her tour, the comedian was candid about her heartbreak over how the show ended clouded in controversy.
“I’m giving stuff away … and I danced, then I was mean and they didn’t like me again,” she said during a show in West Hollywood in April. “It’s been such a toll on my ego and my self-esteem. There’s such extremes in this business, people either love you and idolize you or they hate you, and those people somehow are louder.”
“Honestly, I’m making jokes about what happened to me, but it was devastating, really,” DeGeneres said later in the show. “I just hated the way the show ended. I love that show so much and I just hated that the last time people would see me is that way.”
Ellen DeGeneres: For Your Approval is available to stream on Netflix.
