New year, same old liver?

After all those holiday indulgences, many people feel the need to hit the “reset” button with a detox or cleanse for a fresh-start fix.

These practices date back thousands of years — think Cleopatra’s sour donkey milk baths to preserve beauty and youthfulness, Dr. John Harvey Kellogg’s yogurt enemas to flush the bowels and even the “grape cleanse” to remove toxins and heal maladies.

The restrictive regimen — inspired by the 1927 book “The Grape Cure” — involves consuming just water for two or three days, followed by a grapes-only diet for a week or two.

Author Johanna Brandt was convinced that the plump purple fruit cured her stomach cancer, but medical professionals dismissed her notions as quackery. Though there are health benefits to the water, fiber and antioxidants in grapes, there’s no proof that eating them cures cancer.

Plus, there’s a significant risk to subsisting on grapes — or shoving yogurt into your rectum. Registered dietitian Giana DiMaria, an instructor of medicine at New York Medical College, warns that cleanses can lead to dehydration, electrolyte imbalances, malnutrition, reduced energy and disordered eating behaviors, among other problems.

“The biggest misconception is the idea that it will reset your body and essentially eliminate or remove the negative effects that poor dietary habits have caused on the body,” she told The Post. “Your liver is constantly detoxing your body, even when you sleep.”

Here’s a look at six of the strangest cleanses and detoxes throughout history — and how these so-called glow-ups can turn to digestive blow-ups.

Tapeworm diet

Imagine this worm welcome. The tapeworm diet, which originated in the late 19th-century Victorian era, involved swallowing a pill or capsule filled with a live tapeworm egg or larva.

The hope was that the parasite hatched and grew inside the intestines, gobbling “extra” calories in food to achieve a slim waist.

At best, cestode consumers experienced severe malnutrition and anemia.

Infections were common — the unluckiest dieters died or had a tube with bait inserted into their throat to try to lure the worm out.

Cascade enema

Enemas — injecting fluid into the rectum to stimulate pooping and clear the lower colon — date back at least to 1500 BC, when Egyptians immersed themselves in the Nile River and used a hollow reed to usher in the water.

Ancient Egyptian medical texts also described inserting the fluid with a reed attached to an animal skin bag or bladder.

The enema underwent a dramatic makeover at the turn of the 20th century when hygienist Charles A. Tyrrell developed the J.B.L. Cascade device. J.B.L. stood for “joy, beauty, life.”

Brave souls sat on a rubberized bag filled with “antiseptic tonic” to alleviate intestinal blockages in the hopes of curing appendicitis, typhoid fever, paralysis and rheumatism.

Doctors use enemas to relieve severe constipation and prep the bowel before colonoscopies, but there’s no scientific evidence that enemas remove toxins or rid the body of disease.

Borax bathing

Borax — yes, the laundry booster — is being added to water, coffee or smoothies to lower inflammation, improve joint pain and reduce fluoride buildup. The TikTok trend took off in 2023.

People are also soaking in borax to remove heavy metals, radiation, parasites and toxins.

But experts warn that ingesting borax can cause severe gastrointestinal distress, kidney failure and even death, while bathing in it can lead to rashes, intense itching and skin peeling.

Chock full of charcoal

Healthcare providers have long used activated charcoal to treat poisonings and medication overdoses because it prevents the gastrointestinal tract from absorbing certain toxins.

Activated charcoal became popular as a detox agent in 2014 when Gwyneth Paltrow’s Goop spotlighted charcoal lemonade from an LA juice bar as a great cleanse option.

Soon, activated charcoal was added to everything, including matcha lattes, ice cream and even croissants.

One problem is that not only does activated charcoal trap toxins and poisons, it also binds to essential nutrients, vitamins and minerals, potentially leading to deficiencies over time.

Cabbage soup diet

It tastes as good as it sounds. The high fiber and excessive water in this ’80s and ’90s crash diet is supposed to “cleanse” the digestive system by flushing water, reducing bloating and promoting pooping.

The cabbage soup diet can trigger fast weight loss, but over the long term, it can lead to gas, cramps, fatigue, dizziness, headaches and malnutrition.

Weight loss from the fad diet is mostly temporary water weight, “versus a healthier gradual loss of visceral fat (fat stored around your internal organs),” DiMaria explained.

“Carbohydrate intake is stored as muscle or liver glycogen, which holds onto water,” she added. “When you decrease overall carbohydrate intake, there is a loss of glycogen stores, which releases water weight.”

Master Cleanse

Perhaps one of the most famous cleanses, the Master Cleanse is a blend of lemon juice, grade B maple syrup, water and cayenne pepper that’s consumed for 10 days. A saltwater flush and an herbal laxative tea are done daily to force the body to remove waste.

The extreme eating plan was developed in the 1940s by naturopathic healer Stanley Burroughs to eliminate impurities from the body.

It gained popularity decades later, when Beyoncé told Oprah Winfrey that she used it to drop 20 pounds in two weeks to prepare for 2006’s “Dreamgirls.” Ashton Kutcher, Demi Moore, Paltrow and Yolanda Hadid have also admitted to having liquid courage.

DiMaria said it’s better to gradually develop long-lasting healthy behaviors that support the body’s natural detoxification process instead of dramatically restricting nutrients.

“Healthier habits include increasing fiber intake (whole grains, fruits, vegetables, legumes) while reducing portions of added sugar, fried foods and packaged items,” she said.

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