Do you often find yourself wondering what food to cook, how to cook it, and even that dreaded question—how much of it? It’s a daily struggle for all of us, but need not be with our food horoscope. Satisfaction is only a click away!
Aries
You’re always mystified by what’s on the menu in different parts of the world. Kangaroo in Australia? Live octopus in Korea? Bull testicles in Idaho? ‘How anyone can eat that stuff?’ is what you’ll be thinking today as pound down another Big Mac and fries.
Taurus
You may have finally taken a bite of that apple, and you’ve found it’s rotten to the core. It looked so fresh on the outside, but looks can be deceiving. Take better care in choosing your produce next time, and don’t be so quick to satisfy your appetites.
Gemini
You’re good at making people laugh, even if you do so inadvertently. Still you find it hard to believe they were laughing at something other than your jokes at your last dinner party. Ask yourself some tough questions today. They couldn’t have been laughing at the food, could they? Well, could they?
Cancer
You may feel naked and vulnerable today, like a clam without a shell. That’s never a pretty sight, unless it’s on a bed of rock salt with some lemon slices and Tabasco. Still, you leave yourself wide open for attack by uncaring, ruthless folks bearing those little, three-pronged forks.
Leo
An abundance of good fortune may rain down on you like fruit from a cornucopia today. You’ll want to share your riches with friends, but they’ll complain that they’re hungry for something more than fruit. Withdraw your offer today, and ignore them when they come to you complaining of scurvy.
What does your karmic journey hold? Discover your destiny with our Karma Report. ✨
Virgo
Today may be a good one to take some risks. It may be scary, but you’ll force yourself to overcome your fears. And when you finally swallow that Rocky Mountain Oyster you’ll discover that it wasn’t so bad, but whoever said it tastes just like chicken was lying.
Libra
After much anticipation, dinner will finally be ready. Everything will start fine, and your guests will reach new heights of gastronomical delight. But things will crash down violently once the nausea and dizziness sets in. Prepare things carefully today and this nightmarish scene can be avoided.
Scorpio
Think for yourself today, and don’t be led along by others. They’ll be persuasive, and their ideas will seem ripe for the picking. But don’t believe them when they tell you that a Whopper fulfills all of your daily nutritional requirements, and onion rings are great for lowering your cholesterol.
Sagittarius
Expect the unexpected to turn up as a dinner guest today. This may create an uncomfortable situation as everything threatens to go wrong. You’ll eventually gain control, and you’ll be lucky that lumpy potatoes and cold soup are the worst that’ll happen.
Capricorn
Remove the word impossible from your vocabulary today. Everything is achievable if you keep your goals grounded. Still, no matter how much you try, you may never convince The Food Network to give you your own show. You think they’d be interested in a show on cooking intestines.
Aquarius
You may want to organize a group of friends for an evening of wine tasting. Much to your chagrin, however, they will prefer something a little less highbrow, like a night of Budweisers and sake bombs.
Pisces
You keep flapping those jaws of yours and someone’s going to stick a pineapple in it. Nobody likes a blabbermouth, particularly when everything they have to say is so much bologna. Keep your chatter to yourself today, or you may find yourself in the frying pan with the heat on high.
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