WARNING: This story contains details of intimate partner violence and may affect those who have experienced it or know someone who has.
Natalie Brown sat down one day to search the Food Network for a recipe. But another website starting with “F” popped up immediately — Fetlife, a Canadian social networking site for people interested in fetishism — and on it, she found a video she didn’t know existed of herself engaged in a sexual act.
“I was so humiliated. I felt stupid, I felt embarrassed, I felt scared,” Brown said during a recent interview at her Halifax apartment.
Brown, 39, said she later learned her partner had taken the video while she was blindfolded — at his request — and then shared it on Fetlife.
Brown’s now-former partner, Conor Dolan, was charged in April 2024 with voyeurism and the distribution of intimate images without consent. He initially pleaded not guilty in Dartmouth Provincial Court.
WATCH | Natalie Brown on the moment she discovered there was video of her naked online:
Ultimately, the prosecution dropped the voyeurism charge in exchange for a guilty plea on the distribution charge, avoiding Brown having to testify in a trial. On Jan. 6, following a joint recommendation from the Crown and the defence, Dolan received a four-month conditional sentence, commonly known as house arrest. He will have a criminal record.
Emboldened by the conviction and motivated by a recent rash of killings in Nova Scotia — police say six women have been slain by their partners in just the last three months as a result of intimate partner violence — Brown, 39, asked the court to lift a publication ban protecting her identity so she could raise awareness of intimate partner violence.
She also wants people to know about the challenges she faced getting the intimate images of herself removed from the internet.
Conor Dolan, right, awaits his sentence outside of a courtroom in Dartmouth, N.S. He pleaded guilty to the distribution of intimate images without consent.
Conor Dolan, right, awaits his sentence outside a courtroom in Dartmouth, N.S. He pleaded guilty to the distribution of intimate images without consent. (Cris Monetta/CBC)
Crown attorney Paul Niefer, who prosecuted the case against Dolan, said in an interview that incarceration is usually reserved for cases that involve “revenge porn,” where someone is sharing the images with the intent to harm the victim.
“In this case, we didn’t have that factor,” he said.
Dolan, who has no prior record, declined an interview request, but when asked by the court if there was anything he would like to say, he said he was “tremendously sorry.”
‘A massive loss of privacy’
While delivering the sentence, Judge Tim Daley told Dolan, 43, if the case had gone to trial he might have been facing jail time.
“This was an act of intimate partner online sexual abuse. No question of it. It constituted a massive loss of privacy,” Daley said.
According to an agreed statement of facts before the court, Brown’s face and upper body were not visible in the 12-second video, but her lower body was entirely nude. The video was taken in the home they shared and Dolan was holding her dog in the profile picture on the account. Her voice is also audible. The judge said she was identifiable.
WATCH | Natalie Brown asked a judge to lift a publication ban protecting her identity:
The statement said Fetlife claims to have millions of members, but exact numbers are not available. It said the video was posted 14 days prior to Brown discovering it in September 2019, but was online and visible to the public for four years.
In 2019, Dolan told Brown he had deleted the video, but he had actually only deactivated it.
The statement said he told her that he had posted the video to showcase his skills to attract sexual partners and that it was “not about her.”
He also told her he had mental health issues, including a “porn/sex addiction.” He attended therapy sessions for several months and she attended some sessions with him, in an attempt to continue their relationship.
The relationship ultimately ended amicably in December 2019, and the pair continued to share custody of their dog.
Shocked to find video still online
Four years later, on the suggestion of a friend, Brown checked the website and was shocked to find the video was still there.
The agreed statement of facts said that Fetlife’s administrative logs show Dolan had reactivated his account five months after Brown had discovered it, although he had not used it since reactivating it and, the statement said, finally deleted it on Jan. 28, 2024.
Brown sobbed as she read her victim impact statement aloud in the courtroom. Since the website can match people by location, she worried her friends, co-workers and neighbours might have seen the video.
“The idea that anyone could reduce my body, my autonomy, my dignity, my humanity, to something for their consumption without my consent is unbearable.”
Dolan sat with his eyes downcast.
“That was an extraordinary statement that you read here today, from an extraordinary woman, who demonstrated extraordinary strength and resilience,” said the judge.
Brown said the judge made her feel heard.
Natalie Brown says a Nova Scotia judge’s words validating her experience and feelings after her intimate images were shared online without her consent, has helped her immensely.
Brown says a Nova Scotia judge’s words validating her experience and feelings after her intimate images were shared online without her consent has helped her immensely. (Cris Monetta/CBC)
“To finally get to that point and have a judge validate everything that I went through and call it what it was has helped me immensely,” she said in the interview.
As soon as she discovered the video in 2019, Brown began trying to get Fetlife to remove it from its servers. She said the site told her it could not remove the video because it was Dolan’s property and it could not verify that she was the person in the video.
WATCH | Speaking up on her experience with a form of intimate partner violence:
CyberSCAN unit steps in to get video removed
Brown eventually contacted Nova Scotia’s CyberSCAN unit, which works under the provincial Intimate Images and Cyber Protection Act. The unit, which has been in place since 2013 and sees an average of 200 cases per year, can help get images removed, which it did in this case.
Fetlife did not respond to questions from CBC News about its policies.
Brown said she is speaking out because there remains a stigma around intimate partner violence that needs to be removed in order to make people feel they can come forward without judgment.
She also wants to raise awareness about the difficulties she experienced accessing resources and navigating the justice system.
She said waitlists for counselling are too long and more funding is required.
Emma Arnold, a lawyer who works for the non-profit law firm, People’s Advocacy and Transformational Hub, which works to improve access to justice, says her firm is seeing more and more people as a result of domestic violence.
Emma Arnold, a lawyer who works for the non-profit law firm People’s Advocacy and Transformational Hub, says it is seeing more and more people as a result of domestic violence. (Cris Monetta/CBC)
Emma Arnold, a lawyer who works for the non-profit law firm People’s Advocacy and Transformational Hub in Dartmouth, which offers pro bono and low bono services to improve access to justice, said her firm is seeing more and more people as a result of domestic violence.
She applauds Brown’s advocacy.
“So many people don’t know that the harm they’ve experienced is actually illegal.”
Brown wants people to know that although the fight for justice can be difficult, it is worth it.
“Every time I was scared, I thought, ‘You’re not just doing this for you,'” she said. “‘You’re doing this for every woman who has to sit in that shame.'”
For anyone affected by family or intimate partner violence, there is support available through crisis lines and local support services. If you’re in immediate danger or fear for your safety or that of others around you, please call 911.
