Joe just wants to have buns.
Retiring President Biden playfully swiped a Hawaiian roll from a military buffet line Monday as Cyndi Lauper’s hit “Girl Just Want to Have Fun” blasted at a Coast Guard facility on Staten Island — before reclaiming a microphone to say “I’ve been fired.”
Biden, 82, gave a playful look to fellow buffet servers after snagging the snack and sneaking bites as he prepared to ladle out vegetables to service members and their families at the Coast Guard Sector New York.
After nearly 50 minutes of scooping, Biden unexpectedly addressed the crowd.
“Hello, hello, hello!” said the retiring commander in chief.
“I’ve just been told I’ve been fired,” said Biden, who was forced by fellow Democrats to drop his re-election campaign in July over concern about his mental acuity.
Biden proceeded to speak as if he might seek elected office again.
“They set a time for how long we’re going to be somewhere. And then what they do is they close all the roads, the Secret Service does,” BIden explained.
“And if you want to lose all support for your Coast Guard and no one will ever vote for me again, I better get the hell out of here.”
The lame-duck leader earlier in the day pardoned a pair of turkeys on the White House lawn in another pre-Thanksgiving tradition.
Addressing Coasties before helping serve their “friendsgiving” meal, Biden said that he could relate to the military branch because he attended his school with a future quarterback for the Coast Guard Academy.
“My quarterback was all-state as well. He came along and he ended up being a quarterback for the Coast Guard Academy — in 1912!” Biden said, without naming the player.
Biden has earned scrutiny for his attempts to relate to audiences by telling provably false or unverifiable personal anecdotes, including claiming he scored an appointment to the Naval Academy, for which there is no evidence.
Biden has been increasingly checked out of political debate since President-elect Donald Trump’s Nov. 5 election victory — giving a single one-word response to journalist questions in the past 20 days, despite claiming that American democracy could end if Trump reclaimed power.
He will travel Tuesday with his extended family to spend Thanksgiving on Nantucket island, where he has stayed for the past three Thanksgivings at billionaire businessman David Rubenstein’s compound.
