Focusing on Commonalities Over Differences Is Key to Civility, Expert Says

In the weeks after the 2024 presidential election, companies across the U.S. are dealing with an uptick in tense political discourse in the workplace.

To help business leaders find solutions and create a better workplace culture, Newsweek Horizons hosted the “Better Workplaces: How to Foster Inclusion and Civility” event, sponsored by the SHRM (Society for Human Resource Management) on Tuesday, December 10.

Newsweek’s Workplaces Editor Aman Kidwai moderated the discussion at the magazine’s office at One World Trade Center in New York City. Panelists included Stephen M. Paskoff, president and CEO of ELI; Gabriella Rosen Kellerman, MD, BetterUp’s chief innovation officer and leader of BetterUp Labs; professor of psychology and neuroscience at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill Dr. Kurt Gray; and Michael Franklin, the executive director of Speechwriters of Color.

Before the discussion, SHRM’s Chief Human Resources Officer Jim Link shared opening remarks about current incivility in the workplace.

SHRM’s research found that more than half of U.S. workers believe our society is uncivil. In the workplace, 71 percent of U.S. workers had a polarizing political or controversial conversation and 81 percent of employees are concerned about how they are going to manage divisive political opinions.

Link added that this incivility is costing companies in all areas: employee well-being, performance and retention, internal culture, belonging and engagement, and broader economic capabilities.

After the election, Gabriella Rosen Kellerman said BetterUp noticed a growing divide in well-being along party lines. Those who felt happy with the election results had preserved or increased their well-being while those who were unhappy with the results more often reported a decrease. There is also a growing divide on how people feel about those on the other side of party lines.

“Coming out of the election, there was a steep decline in those feelings of warmth towards the out group,” she said on the panel. “Meaning we feel twice as warm toward our in group as we do toward the out group.”

So what can be done to bridge these gaps and create a more harmonious workplace?

Stephen Paskoff of ELI said it starts with finding common ground at the team level.

“One thing organizations can do is focus on commonalities rather than differences,” he said. “If you start off by focusing on differences, it’s easy to say I have nothing in common with this person.”

As co-workers, he said, people’s daily tasks and livelihoods are mutually affected. Putting commonalities front and center gives people the opportunity to respect differences while recognizing what they share.

Dr. Kurt Gray, a psychology and neuroscience professor at UNC Chapel Hill, said focusing on what people share is essential for eliminating harmful misconceptions people might have.

In a time when people approach political, social and economic issues with a different set of information and fake news is rampant, the best way to do that is to approach tough conversations with stories rather than facts. Dr. Gray said research shows that people should tell stories, especially those that showcase how people are concerned about harms, vulnerability and protection.

“Facts are important, but just don’t open with them,” he said. “Whether that’s at work or at the Thanksgiving table, start with the story. Make folks see you as a human being. You can invite them to share their views, make them feel heard, but don’t just throw facts at them.”

Michael Franklin, of Speechwriters of Color, reinforced the power of storytelling for managers and business leaders, emphasizing the stories “build those bridges of conversation.”

“Leaders don’t have to try and show up in this appearance of what they think a leader should look like, but they need to show up authentically,” he explained. “And showing up authentically can end up leading to a leader living the values that they’re supposed to represent as a part of an organization.”

It’s also important to recognize when someone isn’t engaging in a good-faith argument. Gray said it’s easy to find common ground when you’re engaged to understand instead of to win.

“If you’re trying to win, then you’ve already lost,” he said.

For managers, there is an increased pressure to maintain a positive, constructive environment for employees. Rosen Kellerman said managers set the terms of company culture and are often the face of the company so they need tools to handle these increasingly divisive times.

“Managers who are liable to increase our levels of political stress at work do things like make politically charged comments [and] ignore dismiss concerns,” Rosen Kellerman said. “Whereas managers who are really good at helping us feel calm, even in spiking political moments, listen, they express empathy, they express care, they encourage the team to express care and they’re also very good at problem solving.”

But Franklin emphasizes that companies shouldn’t react too quickly to the news cycles but instead focus on their long-term goals and values.

He says, “You don’t want to back down on your values. Double down as a leader in a successful organization. You need to double down on what works, follow the data, follow your values and take action that makes sense for your business.”

Rosen Kellerman said leaders should also show up authentically, respond instead of react and make decisions that inspire confidence and empathy across the team.

“It trickles down [and] it matters for your employees,” she said. “In a culture where so many forces want to increase political polarization, it is an opportunity for organizations to actually bring people together and be a force for connectedness that we really need in this country.”

After the panel discussion, Newsweek Executive Editor Jennifer Cunningham shared a video presentation of the winner Newsweek’s 2024 Civility Awards, in partnership with the Stubblefield Institute. The winners included members of Congress and philanthropic organizations who are finding common ground and fostering positive and civil discourse in their communities.

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