There is a phrase that I grew to loathe during the 2024 presidential election between Donald Trump and Kamala Harris: He (or she) understands the assignment.
Like a lot of phrases, it was OK until it got overused and twisted and warped to the point of not really meaning anything. (Mostly it meant someone supported Harris, from what I gleaned from social media.)
I am here to reclaim it, in the name of “Heart Eyes,” a horror comedy — horror screwball comedy no less — that isn’t as good as it is entertaining, but it is wildly that.
It’s a movie that understands the assignment.
The Heart Eyes Killer is on the loose in “Heart Eyes.”
What is ‘Heart Eyes’ about?
Director Josh Rubin’s film has a simple premise, as any horror movie should: For the past two years, a serial killer called the Heart Eyes Killer, or HEK for short, has murdered couples — only couples — on Valentine’s Day. The killer does his bloody work in different cities; this year the killer is believed to be in Seattle.
We know this already because the film begins with a gross-out killing of an obnoxious couple mid-proposal at a winery. (Are you supposed to root for the killer?) If nothing else it’s an enterprising use of a wine press.
The city is also home to Ally (Olivia Holt), who works for an advertising agency. She’s frazzled in a coffee shop when she bumps into, literally, a handsome fellow named Jay (Mason Gooding). She’s worried because she knows the ad campaign for rings she created is now a hideous misfire — its theme is “Til Death Do Us Part” and features tragic romantic figures like Romeo and Juliet.
This, in a city now beset by a serial killer, her lunatic boss (Michaela Watkins) points out? Ally thinks she’s getting fired, but lo and behold who does her boss bring in to salvage things but Jay, who turns out to be a freelance advertising genius.
Jay proposes going to a nice restaurant and sorting through some ideas. Perhaps not the best idea on the one night of the year couples stand a greater chance than usual of being slaughtered, but they’re not a couple, so they figure they’re OK. Here their personalities are cemented: Ally is down on love, smarting from a breakup with an ex she stalks on social media. Jay, on the other hand, is a hopeless romantic. Can you possibly guess where this leads?
Dinner is a disaster, but on the way out Ally sees her old boyfriend and his new girlfriend so she grabs Jay for a passionate kiss to make him jealous. It does the trick, but guess who else is watching?
And just like that, Ally and Jay are HEK’s new favorite targets, despite the running joke of them insisting to the killer that they are not a couple, so they don’t qualify for the hit list. Somewhere along the line Jay is arrested and questioned by a couple of cops (Devon Sawa and Jordana Brewster) named Hobbs and Shaw. Get it? So does Ally, who comments on it.
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The ‘Scream’ vibes are strong in ‘Heart Eyes’
There are a lot of references here. The horror vibe recalls “Scream,” a self-aware wink and nod at every turn. The romantic comedy is of the classic screwball variety; we actually see “His Girl Friday” playing at a drive-in where Ally and Jay try to give HEK the slip. (In one inspired bit of gore, the two dislodge a tire iron from a victim’s face looking like King Arthur pulling Excalibur from the stone. Cary Grant and Rosalind Russell never did that.)
The Heart Eyes Killer hunts and murders couples every Valentine’s Day in the rom-com slasher movie “Heart Eyes.”
The ending is a little ragged and unsatisfying, so often the case with even the best horror films. And pretty much none of the details hold up under close (or not so close) scrutiny.
I didn’t mind a bit. I really movies like this (the writers Phillip Murphy, Christopher Landon and Michael Kennedy have, individually, worked on films like “Happy Death Day,” which I also really liked).
But it’s the cast that really sells it. Gooding is just the right amount of romantic, though some of the stuff he does in the background is hilarious. As for Holt (“Cruel Summer”), talk about getting the assignment. She’s funny, she’s terrified, she’s fighting back — all essential Final Girl requirements, at least in a movie like this. Her breezy performance also signals that she’s in on the joke, but still willing to play it all straight. It’s a tricky balance and Holt pulls it off with seeming ease.
So does Ruben with “Heart Eyes.” Nobody’s overthinking it here, and if you don’t, you may have as much fun as they do.
‘Heart Eyes’ 4 stars
Great ★★★★★ Good ★★★★
Fair ★★★ Bad ★★ Bomb ★
Director: Josh Ruben.
Cast: Olivia Holt, Mason Gooding, Jordana Brewster.
Rating: R for strong violence and gore, language and some sexual content.
How to watch: In theaters Friday, Feb. 7.
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This article originally appeared on Arizona Republic: ‘Heart Eyes’ is the Valentine’s Day horror movie we needed
