The liberal late-night hosts put their post-election meltdowns on full display Wednesday evening less than 24 hours after President-elect Donald Trump’s victory over Vice President Kamala Harris
Jimmy Kimmel, Seth Meyers, Stephen Colbert and Jimmy Fallon greeted their shows with similar rehearsed acts — putting on a fake smile and lamenting about the terrible night they had because of Trump’s win.
“I spent a lot of time over the past 17 hours thinking about what I would say tonight, or even if there is anything to say tonight, and there’s nothing, goodnight everybody,” Kimmel said walking off the stage.
The 56-year-old ABC host returned and called election night “the worst taco Tuesday of my whole life” as he said he was figuring out what happened.
“Those of you who are hate watching this show right now wanting to watch me suffer, you will be happy to know that there was no joy in Mudville last night,” he said.
Kimmel became emotional later on when he claimed it was a rough night for several different groups.
“Let’s be honest, it was a terrible night last night,” he said.
“It was a terrible night for women, for children, for the hundreds of thousands of hardworking immigrants who make this country go,” Kimmel said, pausing to fight back tears. “It was a terrible night for everyone who voted against him, and guess what, it was a bad night for everyone who voted for him too, you just don’t realize it yet,” he added.
Kimmel baselessly claimed that Trump’s victory was a good night for Russian President Vladimir Putin, polio, Silicon Valley billionaires and the “wriggling brain worms who sold their souls to bow down to Donald Trump.”
“I’ve been trying to come up with something positive, the best I can come up with is we’ve been through this once before and yes this time it’s probably gonna be worse, maybe a lot worse,” Kimmel said.
“I’m disappointed, I know a lot of you are too. I thought commonsense would prevail. I’m so stupid, I always think it’s gonna but for a lot of people this just isn’t important. It’s not high on their list.”
Follow along with The Post’s coverage of the 2024 election
Late Night with Seth Meyers
NBC’s Meyers revealed that he had voted for Harris, sarcastically quipping that nobody knew which candidate he had supported in the weeks before the election.
The 50-year-old “SNL” alum said election night felt like it was going to be Christmas Eve — either Santa left you presents under the tree Christmas Morning, or “just took a huge dump in your fireplace.”
“I don’t think Donald Trump’s a good person. I will even go as far as saying he’s a bad person. Now in my defense, I’m only basing that on everything that I’ve ever been taught about what makes someone good or bad,” Meyers said.
“This is real and this is something I accept. Half the country thinks he is a good person or that don’t care that he’s not and thinks he’s a good president. And because of that he’s going to be our president again,” he added.
Meyers calm demeanor didn’t last long as he set up his “A Closer Look” segment into the 2024 Presidential Election.
“Well, Donald Trump has won the 2024 election and will be president again for four more years, or eight or 12 or whatever,” he said maniacally laughing.
“We live in an infinite time-warp where Donald Trump has always been and will always be the center of the universe. There can be no escape, all hail our powerful and benevolent supreme leader,” Meyers said.
CBS host Colbert’s opening on the “Late Show” began with a more somber approach as he spoke directly into the camera in front of a silent audience.
“Hey there, how are you doing?” Colbert began his show. “If you watch this show regularly I’m guessing you’re not doing great. Yeah, me neither.”
The “Late Show” host retold an encounter where someone apologized to him for having to do a show the day after the election, but Colbert brushed it off saying he “gets to do a show today.”
Colbert focused on telling people to not be alone during “times like this” and that he was glad to be doing a “comedy show.”
“No one gets into this business because everything in their life worked out great,” the 60-year-old said. “So we’re built for rough roads.”
Colbert transitioned into the “cold open” displaying several different broadcasts from election night coverage before mocking the different reactions of Trump’s victory from around the world.
Fallon, however, relied heavily on cheap one-liners and seemingly forced laughs from the crowd during his opening of “The Tonight Show,” on NBC.
“Well guys last night America decided to get back with a crazy ex and elect Donald Trump as the 47th President of the United States,” Fallon said. “No matter who you voted for I think we can all agree that it’s going to be a rough Thanksgiving.”
“It was a tough night for Democrats, today they turned to Elon Musk ‘so tell me more about living on Mars, how close are we,” the 50-year-old quipped.
Fallon also joked it was a big night for both Donald Trump and Don Julio.
