Lisa Niemi Swayze turned her mourning into movement after late husband Patrick Swayze’s death — and nearly 15 years later, she’s still fighting the disease that ended his life.
After Patrick died in 2009 following a 22-month battle against pancreatic cancer at the age of 57, Lisa was still deep in her grief journey when the Pancreatic Cancer Action Network reached out about speaking at one of their events. While hesitant to step into such a public role, Lisa knew Patrick would have wanted their experience with the disease — which she labels an “instant nightmare” — to help others facing the same struggles.
“It was really tough on me at that time, but I have to say, it gave me a way to keep his fight going, because he fought like hell to be here, and just because he was gone didn’t mean the fight was over,” Lisa exclusively told Us Weekly while discussing PanCAN’s upcoming annual Purple Stride walk. “I know how important it is to everybody else out there that are facing this deadly cancer, and progress has to be made, and we have to keep on pushing forward on that.”
What started as a way to stay connected to Patrick eventually grew into a much larger mission. Despite pushback that pancreatic cancer’s low survival rate makes advocacy a pointless pursuit, Lisa has only expanded her work — championing research, awareness and patient support. “Progress has to be made,” she told Us, “and we have to keep on pushing forward.”
That’s where PanCAN comes in. The “multi-faced” organization is, as she describes it, a “one-stop shop” for pancreatic cancer. “They offer patient services, so if you’ve been diagnosed, you can contact them and get one-on-one support information, directions to a clinical trial doctors, and what you can do in your area,” she explained. “They also do tremendous work in raising funding for research and advocating for federal funding, which is critical when you’re trying to attack a disease like this — no cancer makes meaningful progress without federal funding.”
PanCAN also brings awareness to the pancreatic cancer fight through Purple Stride, the nonprofit’s annual fundraiser, held in 50 communities, which has raised more than $17.6 million to date.
“Everybody’s wearing purple,” Lisa gushed of the upcoming 5K, which this year will take place on April 25. “These people show up with such energy and joy and love and love, love for their loved ones. They’re there representing all the people who are fighting this disease and all the people who they’ve lost to this disease. And it’s really inspiring and wonderful.”
For Lisa, however, the fight isn’t just for patients — it’s also for caregivers. Looking back, she now recognizes how much of herself she pushed aside while caring for Patrick; something she is determined to help others avoid.
“I used to go to TJ Maxx if I was able to take a break,” she recalled to Us. “I’d go two hours searching for the perfect T-shirt. I pay my 12 bucks, and I’m out of there. That was my break, and it worked, but I didn’t do enough of it, and I should have done a lot more and gotten a lot more support.”
Lisa added that not caring for herself is something she ultimately “paid” for later on, which is why she’s making sure others don’t make the same mistakes she did. “I kept everything down outside of me because I was being strong for him,” she explained. “It was the biggest battle of my life.”
These days, Lisa still carries the memory of Patrick and their life together with her, but she’s also embraced a new chapter; one that includes a life on a farm and her marriage to jeweler Albert DePrisoc, something she believes Patrick would have wanted for her.
Here, Lisa opens up to Us about her marriage to Patrick, navigating grief, finding new love and more:
Us: As someone who has such a close experience to pancreatic cancer, what is some progress that you see has been made in the years since Patrick’s death?
Lisa Niemi Swayze: What’s tough, and why it’s so important to raise funding for research, is that a lot of people don’t want to support it because it is a very low survival rate cancer. It’s kind of like, “I don’t want to put my time and energy into something that will possibly fail.” And it takes a tremendous amount of work. But the only way to make progress is to go ahead and do it, fail, learn from it and go on. But there has been meaningful progress made, because when Patrick was diagnosed, the five-year survival rate was 7 percent. It is 13 percent now. Modern medicine is just phenomenal, and I was impressed with it, even when Patrick was sick back in 2008. Now we have targeted therapy and molecular profiling, which will help patients be directed to a clinical trial or a certain drug that would work the best for them. Because one of the things that’s so tough about this disease, is what works for one person won’t necessarily work for another. It’s a tricky little devil.
Us: What still needs more funding that some people might not realize about pancreatic cancer research?
LS: We are all for early detection, and that’s where breast cancer really made its strides. [Often] by the time they discover that they have cancer, it’s very advanced, and that was the same with Patrick. … There are symptoms, like abdominal pain that won’t go away, it can also radiate to your back, a sudden onset of diabetes, unexplained weight loss, jaundice, yellowing eyes or pale stool. I was just talking to someone recently who said they didn’t pay attention to the symptoms they were having until it was really advanced. I think a lot of us, when we’re feeling bad or something’s a little off, we like, “I’m going to power through it,” and we have to be aware [of] what’s happening in our bodies. If something’s off, go get it checked out. Advocate for yourself. Those things are very important, but early detection is key.
Us: Do you feel like continuing your advocacy, like through your work with PanCAN, is a way to have a continuing connection and conversation with Patrick?
LS: Oh, yeah, I do. Because he knows I still care, and how much I care. I still feel him with me every day, and hear what he would say to me about certain things. It’s great. I’m carrying on that fight for him, and it’s an important one.
Us: Is there anything that you wish you could tell yourself if you could go back in time to the moment Patrick got his diagnosis?
LS: Nothing prepares you. Actually, when Patrick first found out, when the doctor left the room, he turned to me and said, “I’m a dead man.” Because he knew something about pancreatic cancer from some of his buddies. I didn’t know as much as he did, but he knew that it was almost a death sentence. It’s just like you get thrown into a world and start learning about a lot of things you never wanted to know about. And you do your best. With Patrick and myself, we just kind of took each other’s hands, and it was like, “We’re going to fight this with everything we have.”
Us: How did you feel hearing Patrick say he was a “dead man,” especially as the person supporting him through his battle?
LS: It was being thrown into an instant nightmare. One thing that I did, that was not great, was hold on to so much hope and positivity and optimism. We all knew how this would, in all likelihood, end, but we held out hope that he would be the one that would make it through. Because there have been people.
Us: That’s understandable.
LS: We were in a very particular situation because of Patrick’s fame that we had to keep so much hidden. I was very good at keeping things hidden. But when you’re going through that, I would recommend for people to get some outside support. That was offered to me, but I [said no] because I was afraid to share anything about him. Everything was leaking out to the press. I paid a price for that, because I held everything inside for a very long time when we were fighting this war. And it was like a war.
Us: Patrick famously worked on the series Beast after getting his diagnosis. He initially was given five months to live and ended up living for much longer. Do you think work contributed to him continuing his fight?
LS: Yeah. He survived 22 months, and it was worth every bit of fight. And the doctor said, “Hey, do you want to go traveling?” And he turned to me and goes, “I don’t see myself going on vacation. I want to work.” He was working five, six days a week, 12 to 14 hours a day, and then getting chemotherapy on the weekend. And it was just extraordinary. He was an extremely strong individual. And during that time, he did pretty well with this treatment. With this cancer, it’ll respond well, and then after a while, it goes, wait a second, I know what’s going on, and it stops. So then you have to change your treatment. So we were always a step ahead of what the next step was going to be. But the fact that he did that series,I think it’s some of his best work. He was just a different person; he just so enmeshed himself in that role. I was really impressed.
Us: What are some ways that, even now, you still find yourself connecting to Patrick?
LS: One of the things about losing someone is every day, almost, I’m on this farm with these beautiful horses and I go, “Oh gosh, I wish I could see this right now. I wish I could see the sunset. If only he were here. I could share this with him.” But I talk to him, I feel him. I hear his voice in my head. He gives me advice, and I am absolutely certain that he is there whenever I need him. And I still have pictures all around of Patrick.
Kat: You got remarried in 2014 to your husband, Albert. What were the conversations that were happening between the two of you about moving on?
LS: I asked Albert, “Does it bother you that I still love Patrick?” And he said, “I know you do. But I’m here to love you now.” And he knows that I can love Patrick, and I can love him. And as a good friend of mine once said, “Love comes from the same well, and when you still have a lot of love to give, you know you’re lucky to find someone to give it to.”
Us: When did you know it was the right time to let yourself love again after loving someone else for so long?
LS: The loving part took me totally by surprise. Patrick and I were married for 34 years and I pretty much spent my entire adult life with him. To be without that meaningful relationship was very hard and extremely lonely. I was much lonelier than I would have admitted at that time. But it was like three years later, and Albert and I were introduced, and we went out to dinner. We had a 7 p.m. dinner in Santa Monica. And at one point I said, “I think probably we should go ahead and pay the check” because it was 11 p.m.! That’s a good sign. We were just talking the whole time.
Us: What was the next step for you two?
LS: We spent an entire month just talking on the phone because he was on the East Coast. So we kind of got to get comfortable with each other, and it was absolutely frightening because I hadn’t been in a situation like that since I was like 17 years old! I felt like a 17 year old. It’s like, “What do I do? What do I wear?” It took courage. In fact, there was a Kelly Clarkson song, “What Doesn’t Kill You Makes You Stronger,” that [I listened to] before I went on that first date with him.
Us: That’s a great song!
LS: It’s such a good song, such a good song. Actually, there was video that I saw online of all these children facing cancer up in a Seattle hospital set to that song. And I went, “Damn it, if these kids can do this, I can go on a date.”
Us: What do you think Patrick would think of Albert?
LS: I think he would be very happy with Albert. I get the sense that Patrick would have wanted me to be happy and not be alone. I think he would have approved of Albert. Albert’s a good man.
Us: Patrick’s legacy is a great one. Do fans still come up to you to talk to you about his work?
LS: Oh, all the time. It’s wonderful — crazy, actually — that after all this time, he’s still very beloved. People say, “Patrick was my favorite actor. I was so in love with Patrick when I was X years old.” And I just love it that people still love them so much. I always tell them, “You have really good taste.”
This interview has been edited and condensed for clarity.
