Nate Berkus has kept the memory of late partner Fernando Bengoechea alive through his children with Jeremiah Brent.
“We’ve been really open with both of our kids about my experience of losing Fernando Bengoechea in the Indian Ocean tsunami,” Berkus said during his December 2025 appearance on Jenna Bush Hager’s “Open Book” podcast. “Our kids know that Oskar is named after him. … There’s photos in our home and artwork that he created in our kids’ rooms still.”
Berkus shares son Oskar and daughter Poppy with Brent, whom he married in 2014.
Ten years before their marriage, Berkus and Argentinian photographer Bengoechea, whom he was dating at the time, were on vacation at a beach resort in Sri Lanka when the 2004 Indian Ocean tsunami hit. Though the couple initially stayed together as the water swept them away from their resort, Berkus and Bengoechea were ultimately separated. Bengoechea was reported missing after the waves receded. He was tragically never found and presumed dead.
In the years since the natural disaster, the Nate & Jeremiah by Design star has opened up about his grief over losing Bengoechea and how surviving the tsunami has shaped his life.
“I think surviving the Indian Ocean tsunami obviously had a massive impact on me,” Berkus told Bush Hager.
Keep scrolling for more moments from Berkus’ appearance on “Open Book”:
Nate Berkus Cries With Jenna Bush Hager While Discussing Reading With Their Kids
Berkus and Bush Hager became emotional as they both recalled impactful moments with their children while reading books.
“I read to him, I crawl up on the top bunk of his bunk bed, and I lay down next to him, and I read a page, he reads a page. But he retains every detail because he’ll ask me about it the next day,” Berkus said, revealing that he and Oskar are currently reading Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.
Meanwhile, he said that reading Charlotte’s Web with Poppy “ignited a conversation about death and loss.”
“And then she turned to me and she said, ‘Did you ever know anyone that died?’ And have I ever known anyone that died? And do you think that was a story about love? Or, ‘What do you think it was about, Dad?’ And she was probably 8, I think, 7 or 8.”
Bush Hager wiped away tears after recalling a moment when her daughter Mila, whom she shares with husband Henry Chase Hager, finished a book and told her, “I’d like to read the ending for you.”
Nate Berkus Reveals How He and Jeremiah Brent Celebrate ‘Moments in Between’ With Their Kids
Berkus told Bush Hager that he and Brent try to focus on the “moments in between” with their kids.
“It’s not the grand vacations. It’s not the whole family’s in Mexico. It’s not any of that. It’s that 20 minutes before they go to bed. It’s the meal times when you’re truly focused. Watching my son do homework on a plane. Watching him, listening to his little voice reading next to me. I can’t even handle it,” he said.
Nate Berkus Recalls the Parenting Advice That Has Stuck With Him for Years
Though Berkus said he would never give parenting advice because it’s “awful,” he recalled something he once heard that has stuck with him for years.
“Do your eyes light up when your child enters the room every time? And I have thought about that since we started a surrogacy journey 11 years ago,” he explained. “Because every time we walk through the door, every time my kids turn the corner, my phone’s — I try — my phone’s down, and I’m like, ‘Hi!’”
Nate Berkus Gushes About the ‘Joy and Comfort’ Jeremiah Brent Brings
Berkus also gushed about his marriage to Brent, telling Bush Hager that it has “brought so much safety and joy and comfort” to him.
“And that bucket has always been checked for me since we’ve been together, finding love for the second time was major. I feel really grateful for that,” he added.
Nate Berkus Shares the ‘Most Valuable Lesson’ He Can Give His Kids
Berkus said his “biggest wish” for his kids is for them to “feel totally free to be whoever they are” and that they’re “good to people around them.”
“Watching them watch us as parents, I feel like the most valuable lesson we can give them is to be completely ourselves and to be vulnerable and be open,” he concluded.
