Heed this warning before taking your lover’s breath away.
The latest research shows that sexual choking, also known as erotic asphyxiation, is on the rise among teens and young adults — and that has experts concerned for the safety of sexually inexperienced Gen Zs.
“There is no zero-risk way of engaging in choking,” warned Dr. Debby Herbenick, a public health professor at Indiana University and author of “Yes Your Kid: What Parents Need to Know About Today’s Teens and Sex,” in a recent statement. “Though deaths from consensual choking are rare, they do happen.”
Sexual choking is a kink that often incorporates the dominant/submissive sexual dynamic, using strangulation to enhance the sexual experience by applying external pressure to the neck, enough to hinder healthy breathing and blood flow. Those who enjoy being deprived of air during sex report feeling heightened arousal and more intense orgasms.
However, the sadomasochistic role play isn’t without its real-life risks. An estimated 250 to 1,000 Americans die annually after attempting to choke themselves during masturbation (autoerotic asphyxiation). Meanwhile, unsafe sexual choking with a partner can lead to loss of consciousness, serious injury, brain damage and, in rare cases, accidental death.
“We need to be talking about this with young people,” said Herbenick in an interview with SexandPsychology.com, a website dedicated to the work of prolific sexual researcher Justin Lehmiller and his colleagues in the field, about her work — noting that partnered sexual choking has boomed in the past 15 years.
“Sexual choking used to be extremely rare and now many young adults have engaged in it,” she said, citing campus-representative studies of college students. “In contrast, very few adults over 50 have ever been choked during sex.”
A 2020 survey of over 4,000 undergraduate students found nearly one in three women and one in four transgender and gender non-binary respondents had recently been choked by a partner during sex — in stark contrast with just under 7% of the male population on campus.
Those numbers flipped when accounting for those doing the choking. Roughly one in four men, as well as transgender and non-binary participants, reported taking the dominant role during erotic asphyxiation with a partner, while just 5-6% of female students had done the choking for their partner.
The findings, compiled by Indiana University’s Center for Sexual Health Promotion, suggest that BDSM dynamics are becoming increasingly normalized — urging experts and parents to see that sexually adventurous young people are getting a thorough education on safe taboo sex.
“Parents need to step into these conversations because choking is unlikely to be addressed in high school sex education, even though many teenagers are already engaging in it or may soon,” said Herbenick, the center’s director.
Her investigations have also uncovered online literature aimed at kinksters that espoused “safe” methods of sexual choking. She found some advice dubious.
“Pressing on the sides of the neck where the carotid arteries are can lead to tears in the arteries which can potentially lead to stroke, days or weeks or even months later. This risk may increase with age or for people with cardiovascular health problems,” Herbenick explained. “Over time, some people may experience cumulative brain injury, which is well documented with other forms of strangulation.”
For those who insist on engaging in the dangerous act, Herbenick recommends doing so rarely, at light pressures, and using just one hand on the neck — no legs, leashes or ligatures.
“Even then, there are still risks, but these are harm-reduction strategies that some people explore.”
Meanwhile, those who engage in erotic asphyxiation have a responsibility to exercise clear and thorough consent.
“Some people do like to be choked but expect the pressure to be done very lightly and then may feel upset or scared or harmed if their partner chokes harder than expected,” Herbenick explained. “This can be prevented if people talk about it first.”
